I’m going to take the Hallmark holiday Valentine’s Day and spin it in your favor, single, committed, or otherwise. To share a short excerpt from my upcoming ebook: Eat. Train. Love!
Although I think the media is taking small steps towards accepting all body types I don’t think it is going in the right direction. I do not mind the “love your curves” “bikinis for all” movement, but I think we need to go a bit further. We are still focused on skin deep beauty, which means we are still talking about our image defining us, allowing us to love ourselves.
We need self acceptance, self love on a deeper level. Let’s examine some common sense. You do not love your mother any more or less if she is curvy, thin, or aged with wrinkles. So why do you judge yourself by those standards. Or how about your children? You do not pinch their chubby cheeks and say “Oh, if you only lost those 4 extra pounds you would be perfect, I would love you even more!” Of course not you “squee” and “coo” over them and your heart gushes with love. One more: What about your pets? You do not care if they are skinny or fat, you love them anyway. On top of that when the vet tells you they are a bit overweight and their health is at risk you actually change your habits to make sure your dog/cat is the healthiest it can be weather that is more walks, or different food habits.
Why do we set different standards for ourselves? Why do we say “I’ll be happy, I will love myself more when I finish this program and loose the last 10 lbs” Why do we not love ourselves unconditionally? We are a child of the universe and we deserve to coo and gush over our selves. Unfortunately common sense is not always common action. When the Dr tells you that you have health risks, do you immediately go to the store to get the right food, and start the right training program to be at your best health? We should start our self love from the inside regardless of our flaws, and on the outside strive for health. You are not defined by your image.
We all should love ourselves better. Love ourselves without condition. As we all strive for optimal health and a happy life. We shouldn’t let a negative session in front of the mirror pulling, prodding, poking at skin, or trying to cover up imperfections with make up, hair products, and spanks change our minds about how beautiful we are or how much we are allowed to love ourself. I am all for getting dolled up, dressed up, and looking our best, but we shouldn’t only feel deserving of self confidence & love on those days. We should give ourselves that love and kindness every single day, even if we’re running around in leggings, an oversize hoody without a stitch of makeup on.
When I talk about self love, I am talking about the big, true, tough, Agape love. The ancient greeks have 4 different definitions/types of love. Agape is the “unconditional love that sees beyond the outer surface and accepts the recipient for who she is, regardless of their flaws, shortcomings, or faults” (typesoflove.org) Agape in the greek definition is a verb. Meaning that this kind of love takes work, action, and commitment. It is a choice to love yourself in this way. We have to choose to love ourselves, accept our flaws. Let’s all take action together to strive for self love, self acceptance that is so big and so true. If we are all in this boat together we can support one another. The strong women (and men) are the ones you see building each other up, supporting one another. Leaving the negative comparison habits behind us, let’s build each other up and make self love the easy choice.