I’ve seen several blogs and “inspirational” memes lately promoting the struggle. Things like “What are you willing to struggle for?” or “Don’t try to skip the struggle” etc.
I get it…I’ve been there, done that. I am a recovering struggle-aholic. My aim was to prove that the struggle was real, necessary, and unavoidable. I would surrender myself to struggle to prove my resiliency and worth. It was exhausting!
What is your relationship to the word struggle?
Do you avoid it, chase it, maybe even cherish it?
In my personal life the struggle keeps me safe, it keeps me small, and it is my best tool to self sabotage my commitments. When I struggle with something there tends to be a bunch of made up drama. I would sometimes even put my struggle on loud speaker in the form of complaining…it kept me busy and kept me from taking the neccessary actions to get what I really wanted. I invite you to take a look at you struggle and ask yourself “How is this struggle serving me?”
Work vs. Struggle
What is your relationship to the word work?
Here’s the way I look at it. The work is necessary, the struggle is not. What is possible if you let go of the struggle and did the work anyway? Doing work/taking action is part of your commitment to your BIG goals. I see struggling as your commitment to staying small.
Here’s a blast from the past story. A few years ago I worked as an assistant for a CPA. This meant that we got really busy right around January and stayed in high gear until April 15th. Yay tax season! I would struggle to get through my to-dos everyday. I would struggle with piling more on than I could handle. I would struggle with commitments outside of work, because I was tired from all the struggling through my work day.
Then I made a conscious choice to end the struggle. No I didn’t quit my job. I just quit my struggle. I made a game out of my to-dos. I would reach out for support when I needed helping getting tasks done. This freed up some mental space, and I was able to get things done without the notion of struggle. It was still a lot of work, but without the struggle. I was still tired at the end of some of my days. Instead of being a victim of my job and time of year, I took responsibility. I made conscious decisions about my commitments outside of work, and never blamed my day for the reason I wasn’t going to hit the gym, eating healthy foods, etc. I would choose self – care and rest without blame, shame, or struggle.
Good news is this shift is simple. It’s putting on a new lens and allowing yourself to look at things in a different light. Bad news is it’s not always easy. It takes work to change your mindset….psssttt but it doesn’t have to be a struggle.
The struggle isn’t real, it’s not a fact…it’s a choice.
What’s possible if you chose to ditch the struggle?